VOICE OF THE BOY CHILD

As much as we aspire to have male children, we are supposed to acquire knowledge in all aspects and in stages required appropriately. The oldest society valued the boy child compared to the girl child. Most heavy duties and taking care of the family were their task. They could look after their mothers even after the passing of the father since it was a mandate, one that couldn't be escaped. Training was done by the elders who made sure that boys were well equipped with skills to empower them and make them good fathers and elders, 'the face of tomorrow.' The core values of the society stipulated that the man was the head of the family and was expected to take good care of the coming generation without a mess. They were also expected to solve social, economic and political issues spotted. A lot has changed since the coming of the white man. Explorers came to bring changes, and they didn't just teach us about life; they ruined our lives. The betterness of the society started when racism, femininity and masculinity wrangles took a wrong turn. 

Today, women are given opportunities, white-collar jobs, education favors, among other good things that are embraced as positive changes. Women's empowerment has diligently helped the forgotten beings, the minor beings of society, to rise to the top. As a woman, I am so grateful to reach higher levels, a favour that has brought inner peace and growth, respectively. Yes, the world is changing, and if you don't change....change will, a saying that has pushed us to forget the other gender. We fail to hear their voices, their cries and concerns. How we train them today determines how they relate tomorrow. In Proverbs 22:6 (Train Up a Child): "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." The good things that you teach your son will help him reason and initiate good governance in the future.  Training starts at a stage when he is still in his mother's womb, communication, attachments, gestures, etc. Then, after birth, you look into how he responds to factors that may interfere with his health and social matters. Good relations often start at a tender age. If he is brought up among bad circles, then don't expect a positive change. What also interferes is the toxic environment around, parents who don't see a problem in shouting, fighting and abusing each other are failing. Remember, they always imitate what they see, hear and feel. For instance, you cannot tell a man not to beat his wife when the father used to do the same to his mother. He embraces the behaviour and passes it on, and that's why we have a good number of rising narcissists in society.

Discipline is also an aspect forgotten and is being done away with almost completely. The end of an era of discipline and instruction is growing rapidly, leaving us with a world of shame and disdain. What was highly emphasised is now a joking ground (Kweli wazee wamechoka).  Ephesians 6:4 (Discipline and Instruction): "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" The angry men that we have today are a result of poor or no discipline being embraced at a tender age. We say mtoto umleavyo.....sure thing, you raise him arrogant, he will turn and disrespect you, and when that time come you will have no say in what he does or thinks. It will feel and show your failures as a parent. Colossians 3:21 (Encouragement): "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart"Scolding them does not mean we hate, but rather care that will help control the evil spirit growing within. You send him on an errand, and he fails to do so because he is a grown man just like you, then you fail to correct him, thinking that one day he will change, kumbe unalea kiburi in him. One day, he will ask you 'what is it that you have that I don't?' That's when you will realise that you failed him when he needed you most. Discipline is the foundation of positive growth and development. Teach him the simple words of sorry, thank you, and may I, so that he grows into a gentleman but not a monster who says 'I don't care.' Proverbs 13:24 (Loving Discipline): "Whoever spares the rod hates their son, but the one who loves their son is diligent to discipline him"Colossians 3:21 (Encouragement): "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart". 

Children are fruits we get as a result of love. How about we embrace them and make them better people that the world is yearning for? It isn't easy, but still we can try being great parents wearing beautiful smiles when those babies prosper and become better than us. "Children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward"Being a parent is a blessing, and almost everyone prays to have little, cute sons that will help us in old age and also be a pillar that holds a family together. It irritates seeing how youths of today suffer in the hands of wolves who only see them as bad omens. We kill them when they steal, yet we fail to give them jobs when they ask for. We call them murderers when we fail to teach them that life is a blessing that is supposed to be embraced and cherished. Narcissism is not born but brought up, the physical fights, name-calling, cold treatments and neglect. Yes, they have grown to be a burden to someones daughter because she is forced to raise a grown-up boy, not a man. Grown boys do not know how to take care of a family but yearn to have one. They marry only to frustrate their wives, often filled with control, manipulation and cold treatment. They often play victims because that's how he used to see his parents act. A very disgraceful impact that led to the high rise of Gender Based Violence (GBV)

As we stand to judge other people's sons, we should consider making it a responsibility of correcting, counselling and encouraging ours. Let's rise and fight against GBV and other vices by changing the upbringing ways as parents. It starts with creating a peaceful, meaningful and safe environment that will nurture and help produce a wonderful father, husband and leader the world needs. Remember, you are a parent by choice, not force. So don't wait to defend him in the law courts and the barazas but teach him not to reach those places. The 'mbona alifanya' can only be stopped by denying them the chances of learning vices, but rather embracing righteousness.