LOVE HER RIGHT

A wife is a companion. The Lord blessed and ordained marriage such that two join to become one. Partnership, even in business, has ground rules that are to be followed for success.  She is there as a mother,infact she is your mama, and she deserves respect, care, love, and to be cherished just as you do to your beloved mom. She leaves her home to be with you for the rest of her remaining days on earth.

Imagine leaving people she has known since birth only to come and stay with a stranger. Someone she doesn't trust, know or even feel. Yes, love is a choice, a choice that comes deep down, interfering with normal body functions. A choice that brings heartache, stress, depression or even death when placed wrongly. When a man marries, he brings 'problems' as they say nowadays. But why do you see her as a problem, and why do you even engage yourself in problems? Why don't you just be celibate or a priest to avoid the so-called 'problem'? 

Our grandparents didn't get the chance of dating, deciding before marriage. It was some kind of 'harassment' that later led to sincerity and a credible marriage. Imagine being carried away by thugs when on errands to fetch water or to the market, then you are taken to an unknown place, and then you are told that you are someone's wife. No feelings, no closure, just an ambush. Even if it was that way, the husbands were obligated to take good care of their wives, lead and make them mothers to secure the coming generation. It was simple and sweet.

Today, we get the chance to meet, choose, feel and engage before marriage. We see it as a bare minimal yet it is meant to help us choose right. When you meet him, he seems sweet, loving and caring, but the nigga later changes into something unconstructive. Not all, but quite a good number behaves timid. 

You found her in her mini skirt rocking her sweet 16 age, you loved it. In fact, that's the reason you approached and said hi. She was attractive, appealing and to the point. A sweet vibe that you can't escape. You told her how gorgeous she is and would love to be with her till end of breath. Ooh my....she gave you a chance and slid in like a snail into its shell. She didn't even think of the repercussions because her heart was beating with bright blood. Silly her, she agreed. You enjoy outs, dinners, picnics and doing crazy stuff together. Then you promise never to change, a word anonymously used to impress, yet no meaning is enclosed. Of course, change is inevitable, and I don't see an offence in it. 

What hurts most is fake promises, not the words, but when you fail to deliver what your lips have spoken. After some time, you change and start treating her like she doesn't belong. You start mentioning things in the singular form. Ooh....my house, my projects, my kids, my everything, forgetting that she was there when it was a collective responsibility. She walked with you all the steps of the way to make sure tomorrow comes with ripe sweet fruits. No, she was just helping because that's her part to play. You start forgetting her, you even remove her picture from your life, mind, and body. Every inch gets lost, you start going out alone to spend time with young souls, 'damu mpya' as they put it. 

You pick exclusivity on her side, trying to impress the 'mbogi', which contain non married boys. What advice can a single person give to a married man? Yes, you choose them and try to fool yourself into forgetting the great moments, laughter, dinner and crazy moments only to be with lost sheep out in the dark. The hyena will catch you, I say. You're bidding in the wrong direction and yet the mbogi will not help when the bridge breaks. 

She then reads, analyses, and marks her papers and rates your performance with her, the kids and even her family. Her binoculars start revealing your evil ways, and because she loves and embraces peace, she decides to leave you with the hyenas you chose. As she leaves, you tell her how incapable she is, you turn completely blind, and you start seeing nonexistent dark hair. She leaves with no goodbye with your kids to a fresh start, then you remain behind, cursing her, convincing yourself that she will come back. 

No, she won't because she now knows the real you. The reluctant and cold-hearted beast you are. If you want a peaceful and nice home, always put effort into watering your flowers as they are. She is the pillar at the centre of everything in that home. Love her, right I say.